It’s that time of the rolling year when, having no particularly bracing topic to babble about, I pick five things I’d buy in action figure form and see if anybody out there is of like mind about them. All caught up? Okay then, with no further preamble let’s just go ahead and start with the first choice in absolutely no order because I’m making it up as I go along.
Mighty Mouse has had plenty of merchandise over the years, even including some things that might count as “action figures,” whether as bendables or whatever, but he has never (as far as I know) had what would pass as a super-articulated modern action figure up to current toynology standards. Mighty Mouse is one of many animal Superman-esque thematic variations that have popped over the years. Take an animal, give him super-powers, bam. It’s a recipe that works well.
That leads me to my next choice:
What Mighty Mouse does for mice, Underdog does for dogs. Except maybe not quite as good. But again, it’s a theme. Underdog has had some collectible stuff over the years like Mighty Mouse, and he actually had an action figure line a while ago from Mezco, but while it looked great, it wasn’t terribly articulated. While something is better than nothing, I’d still love to get a super-articulated version that was more than just a mobile prop. Underdog, like Mighty Mouse, was one of those staples of my very young cartoon watching.
This next one is half-cartoon and half real world.
The Harlem Globetrotters
I, like I guess many people around my age, was first introduced to the Harlem Globetrotters when they teamed up with Scooby and the gang to solve a mystery. At the time I had no idea that they were an actual basketball team whose origins went back to the 1920s. I’ve never been a big sports fan, but the Globetrotters transcended “sports” into pure entertainment. I ended up catching their real-life counterparts whenever they would air them, and even went to a Globetrotter game when they came through my area back in 1990. I’ve always had a soft spot for the team, and would love to get a fully articulated box set of the group of Globetrotters that I first ran across when they teamed up with a talking dog and some meddlesome teenagers to solve a mystery. Basically, it wouldn’t feel right unless it had a Meadowlark Lemon on the team. They could have a game of five on one with the upcoming Michael Jordan figure from Mafex.
Speaking of people who teamed up with Scooby (I told you I was making this up as I went along)…what’s a guy gotta do to get a Don Knotts figure?
I’ve already gone on record that I would love to have an entire Andy Griffith Show action figure line with super articulated versions of everybody from Andy and Barney down to Otis and Floyd, but if that’s just the pipiest of pipe dreams, can we just get a Don Knotts one-off? The dude was a national treasure, and deserves to be immortalized in the most sanctified way that anyone can be sanctified, and that’s as a super-articulated action figure.
And in conclusion… Rodney Dangerfield
I know you just said something along the lines of “why the f$^& do you want a Rodney Dangerfield figure.” And I have no answer for you. As I’m typing this and thinking at the same time, I’d actually love to get a full line of great comedians from over the years. And I don’t know why. But they’d have to be super-articulated. Maybe so they can go solve crime or fight ninjas or something. Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Rodney Dangerfield, George Carlin, Bill Hicks and Lenny Bruce can all run a Comedian-for-hire agency that battles corporate crime.
The article’s over!